Have I lost my point?

Just back from church which involved a much more insightful sermon than normal. Sermons can go either way - mind blowingly rubbish with no sense of what the priest is talking about at all or something short but leaves you thinking well after the service ends.

Today was thankfully one of the latter sermons. Essentially the question asked throughout the sermon was "What is your point? What is your purpose?" The priest continued on about God giving direction and purpose and guiding us through our lives, and that half of the world's ills could be assigned to a lack of "point."

I have been left thinking about this all evening and I can't help thinking that this is entirely applicable to everyone's lives whether you believe in some greater power or not. Life needs direction; what are we here to do? It is also worth thinking that point and purpose are not always things that you get to decide yourself. I am fairly certain that when my parents got married, they did not consider their lives' purpose to be a full time carer for one of my brothers, but then that is their life and, wow, they do it well.

Now the question that has been burning a hole in my head all night is not quite "what is my point," but rather "what happens when you lose your point?" I have wanted to be a lawyer for longer than I haven't. Since the start of secondary school (12 years old!) that is all I have ever aimed for (along with passing some piano exams and getting to meet Westlife.) I studied hard, I picked subjects that would help in my university applications. In fact, from the point where I decided I wanted to be a lawyer to the point where I qualified, a ridiculous 14 years passed! At that point I actually got to be a lawyer and I loved it! Some serious hard work but this was what I was meant to be. Sadly I only got to be that for less than two years before my contract ran out and the job market essentially disappeared.

I feel lost. Who am I? I am many things - a sister, a daughter, a friend, a god mother, a singer, a runner...but the first thing I feel I am is a lawyer. But that is gone now. My point is gone and I am not sure what to do next. Should I keep going trying to be a lawyer and hope that eventually someone will realise that I will be excellent. Or should I find a new point? Or should I let God be my guide? 

I struggle with the whole "Let God be my guide" thing at times. It feels very Jiminy Cricket and Pinocchio and not at all compatible with the amount of work I have done to get here.

Do I need a new point? I think I will be stuck on this question for a while...